This Blog is Going Ballistic (for a while)

For the past several years I’ve been blogging about what it’s like to be a jobbing actor. The idea has always been tweedy, lost-in-translation type articles intended to lower your blood pressure. A reference to a gentler time when there actually was time to read something — anything, just to while time away.


For the next two months or so I am going to ramp up the frequency of this blog as I revisit a long term project mentioned in these pages before. OLM. Operation Leading Man.


You see before you, what I believe is known in today’s media-savvy quotidian-common-tongue as “a selfie”. As you see, it’s a shot in diffuse lighting, slightly distorted by the mirror, and it doesn’t really tell you the whole story

It reminds me of a joke the late great British comedian, Tommy Cooper, used to tell.

I went to the doctor, he said, “You’re fat.”

I said, “I want a second opinion.”

He said, “You’re ugly too.”

To celebrate my 61st birthday, I have signed up for a guided reboot as brought to the world by that crazy Australian, Joe Cross, and pioneered in his film, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. I start the day after tomorrow.

You can check all that out via the cunningly named websites: & where you can see the film for free.

Watch this space

NB: If you find it too unsavory a prospect, or too painful to watch as I struggle to reclaim the casting of my earlier youth, then simply delete all posts until the end of January (Imbolc) 2019 when normal service will resume.

6 replies on “This Blog is Going Ballistic (for a while)”

Colin!!! I swear to God I felt you writing this blog post. I have been thinking about getting in touch with you for two days. I have been using Joe Cross’ Mean Green, 28 ounces a day, for many years. I never did the full reboot, but just adding an entire 28 ounce picture of his green juice to my daily life in the mid late afternoon, totally changed my life and I am not kidding. I love the recipe. I bought the Breville $99 juicer. I can prepare the juice, clean the juicer, in under four minutes.

I always wash the juicer BEFORE I drink the juice. The key is to have the delight and pleasure of the green juice be your last memory of the process. If you leave the cleanup as your last memory of the process, it is self-defeating. And God forbid do not leave the juicer for 30 minutes before you clean it up. It will form a shellac of green microparticles that you want to kill yourself over.

Good luck Colin, this is going to be a fantastic experience for you. If you do a little leaf raking along with it, by golly the sky’s the limit pirate! aargh!

Sent from my iPhone

Hi Ferol, I love the tip about clean the juicer before you drink the juice – makes total sense. I’m working long hours right now with the Broadway schedule, so time is limited but I’ll look to say hello in the New Year!

Ah yes: juicing. I had a go at this a few years ago (there’s a rusty juicer, or possibly two, in the loft) and, for what it’s worth, I’d advise: 1. Wherever you are, be cognisant of the local public convenience topography; all that liquified fruit and veg doesn’t half go through you. And 2. Watch the sugar! Fruit juice, minus its fibrous matrix, has been described as a diabetic coma in a glass. If you’re susceptible, which you’re doubtless not, that is. And it is bound to be better than your current diet, which I imagine is mainly pork chops and creme brûlée at Sardi’s. (Yum).

Don’t listen to snarky negativity, especially from me. All power to OLM, may it meet with success. And don’t discount the merits of OSHU (Operation Slimmer Healthier Understudy), or even OSHSFATB (you remember) which I myself have periodically invoked.

Happy Holidays.


You are hilarious!

Wishing you (and Trish) a happy, healthy (yea!) and hearty Christmas, my dear friend.

Joan xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *